Talking with our Children about Race and Racism
At Phoenix International Academy, we believe that young people will boldly create a more equitable and just future for us all. We all have a responsibility to help children (and ourselves) understand, recognize, and know how to actively work against racism.
How do we start working towards anti-bias and anti-racism in our children, and at what age should we start?
There is a lot of research on this topic – and one thing is clear: it's never too early to start. Young children often notice more than we often think, and right now, they know more than we think. The line between protecting and informing our children is blurry, and we may have to act against our protective instincts, and perhaps our fears, to begin this crucial parental work.
How do I bring this up? Will this be uncomfortable?
Below are some resources on how to approach these conversations. Some of the students at PIA have very young siblings at home. For the youngest children, seek out books that center main characters of different racial and ethnic backgrounds, and expose our youngest to a wide variety of stories. The earlier we share the rich and varied nature of people with our kids, the more they grow up recognizing that both similarities and differences make us strong—and that there is work to do yet. For older kids who can start to engage, being open about race, racism, prejudice, and inequality is vital: our children's curiosity and lack of filter can feel uncomfortable. But shutting it down sends the message that these topics shouldn't be discussed.
Here are some resources that might be helpful:
Talking to Children After Racial Incidents, featuring author Howard Stevenson, an expert on racial stress and trauma.
Talking to kids about race, from National Geographic, includes advice for very young children.
Beyond the Golden Rule: A Parent's Guide to Preventing and Responding to Prejudice, a toolkit from Teaching Tolerance that spans ages 2-17.
Your Age-by-Age Guide to Talking About Race, from 6 months to age 8, from Parents Magazine.
Race Talk: Engaging Young People in Conversations about Race and Racism from the Anti-Defamation League.
How to Talk About Kids and Race from Brightly, by author and mother Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich, full of studies, citations, and resources.
Even Babies Discriminate: A Nurture Shock Excerpt by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.
Study about racial bias in babies from the University of Toronto.
Stages of Racial Identity Development by Louise Derman-Sparks, an anti-bias educator.
Racial Identity Development During Childhood, a study by the University of Pennsylvania.
What White Children Need to Know About Race, by Ali Michael and Eleanora Bartoli of NAIS (The National Association of Independent Schools), is about the particular need for white parents to talk to their children about race.
We Need More White Parents to Talk to Their Kids About Race. Especially Now by Chandra White-Cummings.
Teaching Young Children About Race, by Louise Derman-Sparks and Julie Olsen Edwards, is about creating a productive anti-bias environment
From NPR's Life Kit podcast, Talking Race With Young Children also has a wealth of resources and advice on its episode page.
An extensive list of other resources from the Center For Racial Justice In Education.